May 15, 2012
This afternoon at 5:10 pm I had my first audition. I survived and my cello didn't explode.
The weeks of preparation paid off. Even though I was nervous and felt a bit out of control I was able to play my scales in tune and then play my piece with only one and a half mistakes. I even remembered to give all the dotted half notes their full three beats. The last part of the audition was sight reading. I wish I could remember the name of the piece I had to play the first two lines from. I know that I played the accidentals correctly but I fear I butchered the rhythm.
My wife, Sibylle, who has taught piano for more than two decades has her students perform jumping jacks and then sit down to play to introduce them to what it might feel like performing. During my scales and piece I was reasonably self aware and was able to calm myself. The inner dialog that I have developed while practicing the piece was there and helped me play. However, when I got to the sight reading I felt out of breath and rushed. Only to be expected as I've never had to do sight reading on command before.
It'll be a couple of days before I learn the results of the audition. I have a strong belief that I was successful, but either way I am glad for the experience. In much of the rest of my life I am accomplished at the things I do and therefore rarely experience anxiousness about a presentation or situation. Since I am still a rank beginner in the music world I am experiencing situations and emotions I haven't had for a long time.
Best of all I am finding that everyone I meet through music is supportive and interested in what I am doing. Every one likes that I started as an adult and that I am taking advantage of all the opportunities available to me. Being included and accepted feels absolutely wonderful.